God made us as people to be holy and to only find our joy and peace and deepest pleasure in life when we are being holy according to His ways, and according to His Spirit at work in us. A lot of people accuse pastors of being “kill-joys” or God of being a “kill-joy.” But that’s simply not true. I want nothing more for you than that you be a thoroughly happy, joyful, utterly fulfilled human being. And, what’s far more important, so does God. But, to find life and joy, and to walk in truth and goodness, He made us in a certain way – so that our good and joy and life will only be found when we live according to His ways and designs. When it comes to sexuality and marriage, we were made to view sex and sexuality as an act that only feels right – only is right, deep in our souls – when we belong completely and exclusively to another, and when it is an act that is other-centered, not selfish. We know this in our bones. It’s a part of being made in the image of God as relational, covenantal beings. So, honestly, whether you’re looking at pornography or fantasizing about a romance novel or flirting with someone else’s wife or having sexual relations with someone who isn’t your spouse, it’s always going to be wrong. It’s always going to prove sickness and make us feel guilty or ashamed. It’s always going to keep from us what we most need and want – the desire to be holy and right with God. There is grace and forgiveness for even this category of sin. The first step is to see the sickness – look at your heart and agree with the Great Physician – and then you’re ready to be forgiven, restored, and find life in Him.